NEAR YOGYAKARTA IN CENTRAL JAVA

IN 1993, I DECIDED TO FOLLOW AN EXCURSION THAT WAS DESCRIBED IN A TRAVEL BOOK CALLED "FROM BANKOK TO BALI" BUT I MET A 25 YEAR OLD LADY AT A SHARE TAXI STAND IN TARATUNG. SHE WAS FARIDA AND SHE WAS TRAVELING FROM HER FAMILY HOME IN PARLILITAN TO PADANG SIDEMPUAN WHERE SHE WAS WORKING AS A SECRETARY AT A SCHOOL. SHE DID NOT KNOW ENGLISH BUT I WAS LEARNING BAHASA INDONESIA AND HAD AN ENGLISH / INDONESIAN DICTIONARY. Before we reached Padang Sidempuan, she had given me the address where she was li...

WHILE TRAVELING THROUGH JAVA

I WAS TRAVELING FROM MEDAN NORTH SUMATRA TO BALI BUT I MET FARIDA WHILE WE WERE WAITING FOR A SHARE TAXI THAT WAS TRAVELING FROM TARATUNG TO JAKARTA. I had been staying in Si Muara which is a very small village on a mountain overlooking Danau Toba. I stayed there for one week because I met Rikson on a bus from Medan to Jakarta. He invited me to stay at his family home in Si Muara where there is only one road through the village which may have 100 homes. After one week at that village, we took a ...

A WARUNG IS A SMALL PLACE TO RELAX OR SHOP.

WHEN WE WERE IN THE SHARE TAXI, WE WERE ON A SEAT FOR THREE. I WAS NEXT TO THE WNDOW, RIKSON WAS AT THE AISLE, AND FARIDA WAS BETWEEN US. Farida spoke no english and Rikson could speak english quite well. When my Indonesian was insufficient, Rikson would help us communicate. One of my favorite life time memories was from this period of life. About half way from Taratung to Padang Sidempuan, the share taxi stopped at a cafe. I stayed on the share taxi and Farida went into the cafe. The cafe had n...

AT THE RIVER THAT BORDERS THE SOUTH SIDE OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD IN MEDAN

BY THE TIME WE HAD ARRIVED INTO PADANG SIDEMPUAN, FARIDA HAD GIVEN ME HER ADDRESS. AFTER SHE LEFT THE SHARE TAXI, I WATCHED HER WALK OVER TO SOME FRIENDS WHO SHE STARTED TALKING TO. I NOTICED THAT THEY WOULD LOOK OVER MY WAY SOMETIMES AND I DECIDED TO GET OUT OF THE VAN AND I THEN TOLD RIKSON; "I AM GOING TO STAY HERE FOR AWHILE" Rikson responded; "What about my sister"? I guess he was hoping that I would court her but I was not interested. She was really thin and had some kind of skin ailme...

A TYPICAL STREET OF A TYPICAL INDONESIAN NEIGHBORHOOD.

AFTER I SAID GOODBYE TO RIKSON, I WALKED OVER TO FARIDA. I TOLD HER THAT I DECICED TO STAY IN THE TOWN SO I COULD VISIT HER AND THAT I WILL TRY TO FIND THE ADDRESS SHE GAVE ME AFTER I GET INTO A HOTEL ROOM. TELLING HER THAT I WILL TRY TO FIND HER IN A DAY OR TWO, I WENT OFF TO EXPLORE PADANG SIDEMPUAN WHICH IMPRESSED ME IMMEDIATLY BECAUSE OF THE PERFECT WEATHER THERE.

FARIDAS' FAMILY HOME IN PARLILITAN WHERE WE GOT MARRIED.

I DID NOT GET A HOTEL ROOM RIGHT AWAY. I DO NOT REMEMBER WHY, BUT I SLEPT IN A PARK FOR TWO NIGHTS BEFORE GOING TO A HOTEL. IT COULD NOT HAVE BEEN BECAUSE ALL THE HOTELS OR LOSMENS WERE FULL BECAUSE THIS IS NOT A TOURIST TOWN AND I DO NOT REMEMBER CHECKING OUT MORE THAN JUST THE ONE HOTEL WHERE I STAYED. I SLEPT BETWEEN SOME BUSHES AND WOKE WITH BUSHES ALL AROUND ME, AND WHEN I SAW THAT NO ONE WAS NEAR, I WOULD STAND UP AND WALK AWAY. THE THIRD DAY IN PADANG SIDEMPUAN WAS THE DAY I RESOLVED TO S...

A TYPICAL SIGHT ON THE ROAD FROM PAKKAT TO BARUS.

I FOUND A LARGE, WHITE HOTEL IN PADANG SIDEMPUAN WITH VERY FRIENDLY STAFF MEMBERS. IT HAD A VERY LARGE ROOM WITH NO CARPET OR FURNITURE. IT WAS PERFECT FOR PRACTICING MY TAI CHI CHUAN. I THOUGHT IT WAS UNDER CONSTRUCTION BUT THERE WERE NEVER ANY WORKERS THERE. MAYBE IT WAS BEING USED FOR GET TOGETHERS OR SOMETHING. IT WAS ALWAYS EMPTY IN THE MORNING SO I COULD MAINTAIN A CONSTANT ROUTINE WITH THE TAI CHI CHUAN SESSIONS AND THIS WAS THE CASE FOR A GOOD TWO WEEKS THAT I STAYED THERE. I SOON FOUND ...

ON THE ROAD TO YOGYKARTA.

I WOULD WALK TO THE HOUSE WHERE FARIDA WAS STAYING ALMOST EVERYDAY. MOST DAYS CONSISTED OF ME JUST VISITING HER AFTER SHE RETURNED TO THE HOUSE FROM THE SCHOOL WHERE SHE WORKED. THERE WERE ABOUT 6 YOUNG LADYS LIVING IN THE HOUSE SO THERE WAS PLENTY OF INTERACTION. THEY EVEN MOVED A TABLE ASIDE ONE DAY SO I COULD DISPLAY FOR THEM MY TAI CHI CHUAN. ON THIS DAY THERE WERE TWO YOUNG MEN WITH THE GIRLS WHO WERE LIVING IN THE HOUSE. I FOUND OUT MUCH LATER (AFTER I HAD MARRIED FARIDA) THAT ONE OF THOSE...

A TYPICAL HOUSE IN THE DANAU TOBA AREA.

AFTER VISITING FARIDA FOR A FEW WEEKS AND GOING PLACES AROUND PADANG SIDEMPUAN WITH HER, THE CONVERSATIONS STARTED TO GET MORE SERIOUS. I WAS TOLD THAT A MAN WOULD VISIT A LADY EVERY DAY WHEN HE IS COURTING HER. NOT LONG AFTER THAT, I TOLD EVERYBODY IN THE HOUSE THAT I WOULD BE GOING TO BUKITTINGGI FOR A FEW DAYS. BUKITTINGGI IS IN WEST SUMATRA WHICH WAS AN AREA OF SUMATRA THAT I WANTED TO EXPLORE. I WAS ALSO AFRAID TO MOVE TOO FAST WITH FARIDA AND HER FRIENDS SO I CONCLUDED I SHOULD TAKE A BREA...

EDO, FARIDAS' YOUNGEST SIBLING, NEAR THE CHURCH WHERE WE GOT MARRIED.

BETWEEN PADANG SIDEMPUAN AND BUKITTINGGI THERE IS NO TRAIN SO I TOOK A BUS TO WEST SUMATRA. I DID NOT MEET ANYONE ON THE BUS SINCE I KEPT TO MYSELF AND READ WHAT THE GUIDE BOOK SAID ABOUT WEST SUMATRA. BUKITTINGGI USED TO BE CALLED FORT DE KOCK BY THE DUTCH. I THINK IT HAD A POPULATION OF ABOUT 110,000 WHEN I WAS THERE. THE VOLCANO, MARAPI IS IN THE AREA AND IT IS THE MOST ACTIVE VOLCANO ON SUMATRA ISLAND. IT DOES ERUPT OCCASIONALLY. THERE IS A GOOD AMOUNT OF TOURISM THERE SO THE HOTELS AND REST...

SHORTLY BEFORE WE GOT MARRIED IN PARLILITAN.

I EXPLORED THE STREETS OF BOTH BUKITTINGGI AND KOTO GADANG. AT THE OTHER SIDE OF SIANOK CANYON, SPENDING A LOT OF TIME IN THE LARGE OPEN AIR MARKET OF BUKITTINGGI AND THE MAIN STREET OF KOTO GADANG WHERE MANY HOMES DISPLAY FINE SILVER HANDICRAFTS IN THEIR WINDOWS. THE MUSEUM RUMAH KELAHIRAN BUNG HATTA IS THE FORMER HOME OF MUHAMMAD HATTA WHERE HE WAS BORN. HE WAS ONE OF THE FOUNDING FATHERS OF MODERN INDONESIA. AT THE MARKET IN BUKITTINGGI, CALLED PASAR ATAS AND PASAR AUR KUNING, IT IS EASY TO M...

FARIDA IS HOLDING 3 MONTH OLD RAYHEND IN JAKARTA.

KOTO GADANG STREETS ARE SMALL, QUIET, AND CLEAN WITH SMALL DUTCH HOUSES THAT HAVE SILVER ARTISIANS LIKE; WELI SYAR MAK WAN, SULAMAN DAN SILVER CICI, AND SILVER WORK RUL. THERE ARE MANY. WHEN I RETURNED TO BUKITTINGGI, I STARTED VISITING FARIDA EVERYDAY AGAIN. I GAVE HER A FINE WORKED SILVER NECKLACE FROM KOTO GADANG AND I DISTRIBUTED MANY SMALL WOODEN CARVINGS TO THE CHILDREN OF THE AREA. ACTUALLY, I PLACED ALL THE CARVINGS ON THE COFFEE TABLE IN THE HOUSE AND THE CHILDREN CAME IN FROM THE STRE...

WALKING THE STREETS IN JAKARTA WHERE FARIDAS' AUNT AND UNCLE LIVE..

I THOUGHT EVERYTHING WAS READY FOR OUR YEAR LONG COURTSHIP, BUT NOOOO. I THEN GOT NEWS FROM FARIDA THAT WE WERE INVITED TO PARLILITAN WHERE HER FAMILY HOME WAS. HER PARENTS AGREED TO MEET ME. THIS WAS SOMETHING I WAS NOT CONSIDERING BUT IN ASIA, IT IS TO BE EXPECTED. WE NEEDED THE BLESSING OF THE PARENTS. WOW, I JUST HAD TO RESIGN MYSELF TO AN EXTRA TRIP TO AN AREA OF NORTH SUMATRA I NEVER EXPECTED TO VISIT. IT IS NOT ON THE TOURIST ROUTE, NOT IN THE GUIDE BOOK AT ALL. AND FOR THE PURPOSE OF REC...

THIS KERBAU WAS SEEN ON THE ROAD TO BARUS.

MY LIFE FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS WAS COMPLETELY IN FARIDAS' HANDS. NO GUIDE BOOK, NO GOOGLE MAPS (NO CELL PHONES YET), AND REGULAR MAPS WOULD NOT HAVE HELPED SINCE PARLITLITAN WAS A SMALL VILLAGE WITH NO ELECTRICITY YET SO IT WAS NOT ON THE MAPS. NARROW ROADS (WATCH OUT IF THERE IS AN ONCOMING VEHICLE ESPECIALLY IF THERE IS A POT HOLE WHEN AN ONCOMING VEHICLE APPROACHES), OFTEN WASHED OUT IN PLACES, WOODEN BRIDGES EVEN MORE NARROW THAN THE ROADS, WOODEN PLANKS CROSSING CREEKS WHICH OFTEN HAVE TO B...

WALKING A CHINESE NEIGHBORHOOD IN PENANG MALAYSIA.

FARIDAS' FAMILY LIVED IN A WOOD HOUSE THAT THEY BUILT THEMSELVES. IT WAS ABOUT THREE STEPS FROM THE ONE ROAD RUNNING THROUGH THE VILLAGE AND IT WAS PAINTED BLUE. IT HAD TWO STORIES BECAUSE THERE WAS A STEEP DECLINE FROM THE ROAD TO THE FIELD BEHIND THE HOUSE. THERE WAS A NICE ROW OF FLOWERS IN FRONT OF THE HOUSE AND THERE WERE BANANA TREES IN THE BACK OF THE HOUSE WITH LOTS OF BUSHES AND GRASSES FOR THE KERBAU THAT THEY KEPT THERE. THE KERBAU HAD PLENTY TO EAT. THERE WAS ALSO A CHICKEN COOP WITH...

MORE KERBAU ON THE ROAD TO BARUS WHICH IS ON THE INDIAN OCEA.N.

THE NAME OF FARIDAS' FATHER IS HENDRIK PIL TUMANGGOR AND HER MOTHERS' NAME IS RUMIA. SHE HAS EIGHT BROTHERS AND SISTERS. LINDA, THE OLDEST LIVES IN PAKKAT WITH HER HUSBAND AND SEVERAL CHILDREN (5 OR 6). EVERY TIME WE VISITED SUMATRA, WE WOULD HAVE TO MAKE THE ARDUOUS TRIP TO PAKKAT TO VISIT THEIR HOUSEHOLD. THE ONLY TIME I MET LINDA OUTSIDE OF PAKKAT IS WHEN SHE CAME TO PARLILITAN FOR MY MARRIAGE WITH FARIDA.THE FAMILY HOME IN PARLILITAN IS ACTUALLY ABOUT 15 MINUTES UP THE HILL FROM THE VILLAGE....

WE TRAVELED FROM PAKKAT TO BARUS ON A MOTOCYCLE.

WHEN I RETURNED TO THE USA, I HAD PROMISED FARIDA THAT I WOULD WRITE EVERY MONTH. ONE MONTH SHE DID NOT RECEIVE A LETTER AND SHE WAS WORRIED THAT I MAY HAVE CHANGED MY MIND. THE LETTER MAY HAVE GOT LOST OR MAYBE I FORGOT TO WRITE. I WAS BUSY SAVING MONEY FOR THE MARRIAGE AND GETTING PAPERWORK TOGETHER LIKE BIRTH CERTIFICATE AND FINANCIAL FORMS. WE WROTE OF OUR ANXIOUS ANTICIPATION FOR OUR MEETING AGAIN AND THIS ANTICIPATION GREW AS TIME CRAWLED. TIME DID NOT FLY THAT YEAR; TEMPO NON FUGIT EN 199...

FARIDA & HER MOM HOLDING RAYHEND, OUR FIRST SON AT THEIR HOME

THE NECESSARY PAPERWORK WAS READY. I KNEW I DID NOT HAVE ENOUGH MONEY FOR THOSE HUGE WEDDINGS THE PEOPLE THERE LIKE BUT I FIGURED THAT I HAD ENOUGH TO PULL IT OFF. DECEMBER WAS THE MONTH I ALWAYS FLEW TO SOUTHEAST ASIA BEFORE I BROUGHT MY FAMILY TO USA. THAT EXPLAINS WHY BOTH MY BOYS WERE BORN IN SEPTEMBER. I DO NOT REMEMBER WHY, BUT I RETURNED TO PADANG SIDEMPUAN VIA PEKANBARU IN RIAU PROVINCE. THIS RESULTED IN A DELAY WITH MY ARRIVAL WHICH MADE FARIDA WORRY. IT HAD BEEN RAINING HEAVILY AND THE...